Taisch's Ark of Fools Blog

In which I randomly babble, mostly about things I've watched or read. If I feel like it. Which means mostly Chinese movies/series (mostly in the wuxia genre) or Doctor Who related things.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

You call this a snack food!?

So I was shopping at (one of) the local Chinese supermarkets today, looking for some snacks to bring in for my daughter's preschool's "International Day" when I realized (as I do every time I attempt to do something "ethnic" for the kids' schools) that the Chinese just have very strange ideas on snacking. And dessert.

Crispy Dried Crab

Exhibit A: "Crispy Dried Crabs"! Look at them! They're tiny little crabs (VERY cute) fried up or something with lots of salt...and licorice, is it? Good grief. This is just one step up from eating the big fat cicadas that overrun Maryland every 17 years (the difference being, someone ELSE cooked and packaged the crabs for me). These are from Taiwan. They also have similar things with fish, cuttlefish, shrimp, etc., some salty, some sweet. The label on the back is also very amusing:

"...All of the "TA YUAN" products will supply high quality of cuttlefish with wonderful ethnic taste for you [we'll see after I try them...]...If the products look strange, to you before or after you open the package please contact us A.S.A.P. to exchange for you [ROFL. For what, a bag of potato chips?]"

And then there's the bizarre misconception that sweet bean paste makes a good pastry filling. Or a good dessert dumpling filling. Red bean paste, black bean paste, in everything except beans on toast (ok, the English are weird, too. Is that what they eat instead of peanut butter?). Yeah...whatever... I hate moon cakes, too.

Then there's all the various spicy dried bean snacks. The wasabi peas seem to be Japanese, but they're very popular among the Chinese, too. (Actually, I love the wasabi peas. It's just that lately I've preferred my cashew/dried cranberry combo.) And of course peanuts go in here, too.

And not content with dried beans, they also have all kinds of dried fruit. The classic being the evil sour balls of death, erm, some kind of dried plum pits. NOT the (actually edible) dried plums you might at Trader Joe's, but REALLY dry little hard wrinkly balls that make your face scrunch up in pain. My mother used to feed me these when I got car sick.

But then again, my mother also insisted that duck gizzards were one of her favorite snacks when she was a kid. DUCK GIZZARDS. She tried (unsuccessfully) to recreate them for me when I was growing up. Perhaps there's some secret to their preparation...

Well. A bit more success with the seeds. Watermelon seeds and pumpkin seeds, mostly. Yes, I eventually learned how to shell and eat the watermelon seeds. And these days I do save the seeds from the Halloween pumpkins and roast them. Even my kids will eat them.

Then there's the various rice cakes, barley cakes, etc. Not exactly Rice Crispies treats, but there you go. I could almost like them, if I liked that sort of thing at all.

And pork (or is it beef?) jerky...I think they make that stuff in Canada these days. Big red boxes of it. Haven't had it in awhile, but I seem to remember liking it.

And bean curd pudding...I wonder if you could sell it in little cups and market it in the U.S.? There seems to be a market for soy products. I mean, the "soy milk" really took off (for which I am very grateful. I much prefer it to cow's milk.) Hmm.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

ROCH 2006: Last few eps!

So here we are, in the post-16 year separation. Um. Yeah. All that white hair on Yang Guo looks a bit silly. He's what, 38 or so at this point? Everyone else in the story looks pretty much exactly the same, oddly enough. Well, except for the Guo twins, who are teenagers instead of babies now. I never liked this part of the story that much. And the giant bird still looks silly.

Guo Xiang meets Yang Guo (the Condor Hero) and becomes his number one fan. Or something. A few more groups of weirdos introduced at this point, but I can't bring myself to care. Anyway, she invites him for her 16th birthday, and he plots out this huge "party" for her, and "gifts" that take her as a representative of the city of Xiang Yang. More or less. Guo Fu is bitchier than ever. Poor Yelu Qi. GX's twin brother (I forget his name) is pretty much a nonentity.

Anyway, after some more woe and intrigue around GX's birthday party (With fireworks that rival Gandalf's at Bilbo's last birthday party!) Yang Guo wants to meet up with Little Dragon Girl again. Of course it doesn't work out that easily. He catches up with Huang Yaoshi at last, and learns some disturbing info (all while teaching a couple of idiots that the Force is no myth...or something...err...whatever...). YG screams a lot. Super-powered screams. Geez, I hate those. GX rides off after YG, meets up with the Golden Wheel Monk, who kidnaps her.

Yang Guo finally learns the true story of his father's life and death. Much screaming and carrying on ensues. I liked the old blind bat guy, here. Well played. Also the four men seeking him for revenge.

Somehow Huang Rong, the two cousins (Cheng Ying(sp?) and Lu Wushuang), Huang Yaoshi, the old rascal Chou Botong, Yi Deng, and Ying Gu all end up converging with YG, GX, and the Golden Wheel Monk at the cliff at the Passionless Valley. Big cliff-diving party! Woo hoo!

A reunion with lots of slow motion flying around, spinning camera, flowers, bees, singing, and teary gazes into each other's eyes. I think I fast-forwarded through most of this. Especially as my 8-yr old son was watching with me and he hates it when people kiss...

And back to the siege of Gondor, I mean Xiang Yang. No giant elephants here and no elves, but they did have big siege towers with cannons. Massive battle scene ensues. The final big battles you might expect at this point. One last heroic charge by Yang Guo (riding on 4 horses, no less!). And then cue the semi-happy ending.

So many of these stories set in these historical settings are really depressing, because you know that a few years after the "happy ending", China is violently conquered after all (or there's a civil war, etc.), and our heroes can't change that.

Concluding thoughts: This was a decent serial. Not my favorite, but then I never liked the story that much in the first place. Luckily I didn't watch it immediately after reading the books, so I wasn't quibbling too much over details. It seemed a fairly faithful adaptation of the novels. The acting was good, for the most part. EXCEPT for the actor who played Yang Guo. Maybe he's just difficult to play convincingly, but I just didn't like this portrayal. He looked and sounded wrong to me. The scenery and costumes were good. (No cheap styrofoam wilderness here!) The CGI animals were pathetic. The music was all right. Not really to my taste. Overall, I thought the pacing was too slow. Too many slow scenes to try to play up the romantic elements, but it had the opposite effect on me.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

ROCH 2006: get over it!

Eps 31-33 or so. Finished up the Passionless Valley plot and the LMC (evil Taoist nun) plot (more or less). A different song! Woot! (LMC's "Ask the world, what is love" etc.) This section ends with the 16 year separation.

Sure, we can sympathize a bit with LMC, but still, being unfortunate in love once is not a license to slaughter tons of innocent people! Get over it! Perhaps that's what annoys me about ROCH, that it's a great virtue to only ever love one person in your life, ever ever forever! And half the girls have to fall in love with Yang Guo. Bleah. I would have hoped for the two cousins (Cheng Yin and Lu Wushuang) to get more of a life outside YG, not stay single forever. And poor GS Lu-er. What a way to die. What horrible parents she had. And Ci En (the former Iron Palm leader who became a monk, the brother of GS's wife/Qiu Qianzi)...interesting character there. His sister demanding vengeance on Huang Rong, his master telling him to let it go. No wonder he's a bit crazy.

Cat fight! Heh. I was amused by the scenes with Lu Wushuang and Guo Fu. LWS has a mouth on her! Ha ha ha.

But it all seemed to drag on forever. Will this series ever end!?

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Monday, December 15, 2008

ROCH 2006: More baby tag!

And swarms of spiders! Bees! Episodes 25-30ish. Not bad. Not great, either. Yang Guo finally catches up with Little Dragon Girl again. The two Wu brothers are more clownish than ever. Not that their dad is much better. (Dad: You can't ruin your lives over love of a woman! The boys: But you did! LOL.) The three sudden blossomings of twue wuv are not all that convincing.

And now it's Little Dragon Girl's turn in the "I'm dying!" chair. I suppose she'll stay there for a few more episodes. Of course, YG is still poisoned.

The Taoists don't come off very well in this series, do they? LMC is supposed to be a Taoist nun, and she is just cruel and heartless. Poor Hong Lingbo (her apprentice.) The Quan Zhen sect 3rd generation are either useless or power-hungry goons who sell out to the Mongols. The older generation isn't much better. They get beat up on by just about everyone and growl at Yang Guo a lot. And poor Qiu Chuji either sucks as a teacher or just has really bad luck with his disciples.

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

ROCH 2006: Oops! She ran off again!

Eps 21-25ish of the 2006 mainland production of "Return of the Condor Heroes". My interest level: fading, fading, fading...urge to fast forward...increasing... Yeah. It's been over a year since I last watched any of this show. Maybe I overdosed on that SONG. Ugh. It came back to me all too quickly.

This is a bad sign, since this is the part of the novels I really liked: Yang Guo decides who he's going to be, whether he's going to try to kill his "uncle" Guo Jing (the big patriotic hero here) or not (and the choice is even harder because now he's poisoned and his own life depends on him killing GJ and trading it for an antidote) and we have the crisis with Guo Fu and the two Wu brothers, and the choppity-chop and the giant eagle.

Things I liked: the siege of Xiang Yang. Some good combat scenes (even if they did have a tendancy to Force-blast in a cheesy way now and then). Nice sets. Decent acting. LMC (the evil Taoist martial sister of Little Dragon Girl) is back. I laughed when she thought the baby was YG and LDG's. The Golden Wheel monk's gleeful tricking of Nimoxing into stepping onto the poison needles too. ("Now we're even! Ha ha!")

Things I disliked: Huang Rong still looks freaky with the eyes. Horrible looking leopard and giant eagle and snakes. Sheesh. That SONG and the ultra slow-mo moments. Gah! Yang Guo's laugh.

Headdesk moments: Look! She's drooling blood again! (Must be emotional if she's drooling blood AND fainting.) She's running away again! More idiotic misunderstandings! Magic finger Force! (Ok, ok, I guess it's either show it this way or else have little captions appear on the screen whenever you use some esoteric stance/style/move.) Glowing caves! (I understand why they have them, but it's still silly to look at.)

I'm going to try to make it through the rest of this...heh... Maybe I just don't like the ROCH story all that much. The only version I've really enjoyed is the anime version (but I still need to track down season 3).

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